Everything in life is a choice. Everything.
We don’t always see it, and sometimes the choice isn’t directly offered, but it’s always there.
When your friend starts talking about their problems, they don’t always ask if it’s okay to share. Does that mean you don’t have a choice, or are they assuming you have time for them? Is the choice a formality, or has it been taken away entirely?
What if you told your friend you were busy or needed to talk later?
By stating that you’re not available, you’re reclaiming your choice, even though it wasn’t offered. You’re recognizing the inherent choice to decide when to engage. If your friend is bothered by it, that’s their issue, plain and simple.
Our job is to respect each other’s choices, even if we don’t like them. We’re not here to protect or save each other, but to honor one another, regardless of how we feel about the choices being made.
But what if their choice affects me?
The power of choice is never taken away. When someone makes a choice that affects you, it offers you a new choice. Human interactions are a series of back-and-forth choices. Someone says something; you reply. They say something else; you respond. Conversations are built on mutual choice. Nobody is trapped in a conversation they don’t want to have, as long as both parties keep choosing to engage.
If someone hits you, you have choices: hit back, walk away, call the cops, or ask for help. There are always options, but they come with risks—your options might not be what you want, or the other person may not like your response.
What does, “I didn’t have a choice,” really mean?
It means you didn’t like the options. You had a choice, but one option felt right and the others didn’t. Your choice wasn’t taken away; it was just limited by how you felt about the options. Perceived limitation doesn’t remove choice.
When someone hits you, do you feel obligated to hit back? If you feel obligated to defend yourself, it limits your choices. Question that sense of obligation. There’s a deeper conversation here about those “human rules” and the pressure we feel to react in certain ways.We don’t always see it, and sometimes the choice isn’t directly offered, but it’s always there.
When your friend starts talking about their problems, they don’t always ask if it’s okay to share. Does that mean you don’t have a choice, or are they assuming you have time for them? Is the choice a formality, or has it been taken away entirely?
What if you told your friend you were busy or needed to talk later?
By stating that you’re not available, you’re reclaiming your choice, even though it wasn’t offered. You’re recognizing the inherent choice to decide when to engage. If your friend is bothered by it, that’s their issue, plain and simple.
Our job is to respect each other’s choices, even if we don’t like them. We’re not here to protect or save each other, but to honor one another, regardless of how we feel about the choices being made.
But what if their choice affects me?
The power of choice is never taken away. When someone makes a choice that affects you, it offers you a new choice. Human interactions are a series of back-and-forth choices. Someone says something; you reply. They say something else; you respond. Conversations are built on mutual choice. Nobody is trapped in a conversation they don’t want to have, as long as both parties keep choosing to engage.
If someone hits you, you have choices: hit back, walk away, call the cops, or ask for help. There are always options, but they come with risks—your options might not be what you want, or the other person may not like your response.
What does, “I didn’t have a choice,” really mean?
It means you didn’t like the options. You had a choice, but one option felt right and the others didn’t. Your choice wasn’t taken away; it was just limited by how you felt about the options. Perceived limitation doesn’t remove choice.
When someone hits you, do you feel obligated to hit back? If you feel obligated to defend yourself, it limits your choices. Question that sense of obligation. There’s a deeper conversation here about those “human rules” and the pressure we feel to react in certain ways.
Once you question whether the obligation is real, you can empower yourself to feel you have a choice, even if others disagree. It’s not about being a rebel, although you certainly can be; it’s about self-empowerment and stability within ourselves. The more internal power we have to question the stories we’re telling, the more choices we’ll be able to offer ourselves. This provides a concrete sense of freedom, even in a rule-based world.
Recognizing we always have a choice means freeing ourselves from the stories of obligation. Conforming is a choice. In spiritual circles, there’s talk about doing what’s right, even when no one else is. At the heart of that conversation is the tension between choosing what you want versus what you think you should do. It’s hard to stand out in a world of followers.
What if my choice doesn’t work out the way I want it to?
We can’t always predict or control the outcome. We must accept that we might not get what we want.
What I’ve learned is that even when things don’t go as planned, there’s still room for healing and growth. No choice is ever wasted. Everything eventually comes back around if it’s wanted.
Managing our thinking allows us to control our projection of fear into the unknown future. Acceptance is the key. We make the choice we want to make and then we just trust ourselves to handle what happens next. That’s where our power lives. It is in the ability to handle the next thing.
There will always be a next thing. There is no final choice for as long as we’re in a human form. The object is not to make a choice so that we can avoid making a new choice. The goal isn’t to avoid future choices but to make choices knowing new ones will follow, even if we don’t like the outcome. A bad outcome still presents a choice. A new choice is always available, except in death—though even then, I believe the soul continues to make choices beyond the human form.
This leads us into broader discussions about people-pleasing, obligations, fear of mistakes or failure, and needing permission. We’ll get to those discussions, but first and foremost, it’s about recognizing the power of choice even when pain or other people tell you the choice isn’t available. With that, we close the article where it began.
You always have a choice.
Love to all.
Della